Chapter 2. Why can’t we all be beautiful?

27 May

“I thought it made me look cool to be living an Oasis song.

Quick lesson in life: never take life inspiration from a rock and roll band.”

Around three month after leaving student halls I deleted my Facebook account. I was free from everyone who had known me (and probably hated me). I was free from their judgement and from any “you have changed” comments (which I had secretly hoped would come at the beginning to prove to myself I was different). I disabled the account and left it at that. A year later and I went back on in a moment of weakness. I panicked, deleted every image and wall post, and disabled again.

I cried for a day after that 5 minute moment of weakness. The issue I had wasn’t with the people on there or the things they had said, it was my images. I had actually walked around in public looking that bad. The worst bit was that I had been popular with boys in student halls. I knew none of the sex meant anything don’t get me wrong, I had just kidded myself that I was desirable in their eyes. Some kind of kooky version of Megan Fox. No, I was just the block slut. An ugly one at that.

My appearance had suffered from the general student lifestyle. I was never hot in school but I did look healthy and my body was good from the copious amount of exercise that I did. After I went to Uni I replaced exercise with cigarettes and alcohol. I guess I thought it made me look cool to be living an Oasis song. Quick lesson in life: never take life inspiration from a rock and roll band.

My body looked like it was heading in to chubby territory from the lack of exercise, my face had bloated from lack of sleep and too much alcohol. My hair which I used to get cut and dyed every month was now a lank, greasy, red faded mess. My makeup consisted of too much eyeliner and a bright red lipstick that did not suit me, matched with the red hair it was almost comical. As for my clothes, I don’t know what was happening there. In one image I looked like I was trying to be a member of an indy band.

After the tears subsided I was filled with a kind of drive and determination. I knew that with the right attention to detail anyone could be hot. Take a look at early pictures of celebrities, in the days before the stylist, if you don’t believe me.  If they could do it, why can’t I? Why can’t we all do it?

All it would take was some beauty knowledge, some time and plenty of preparation. I trawled the internet compiling the most beautiful girls to see what they did right, I planned every painstaking detail. And so the how to be hot list began…


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